Dear friends,
The family stood before the judge, terrified and
humiliated: father, 12-year old son, and 7-year old daughter. Their
mother had abandoned them a year before. The son was accused of
physically abusing his sister, repeatedly, while the father was at
work, trusting him to care for the tiny girl. It was a tragic scene, for
the legal system would split up the family, remove both children from
their father, and place them in an orphanage or a reformatory.
It’s an
oft-repeated story. In a country committed to protecting its children,
Costa Rica finds itself obligated to separate hurting
families. My church has sustained a ministry for many years with
children in the local government “orphanage,” run by PANI, the
children’s protection service. The children form an integral part of the
congregation, participating in the Sunday school, kids clubs, drama
group, and enjoying a Sunday dinner in the homes of the families.
But is there another way? Is there an
alternative to what the Director of PANI described as the heavy-handed
action of social workers and judges, deciding what is best for the
families, shaming and condemning them for their failures, separating
parents from children?
I recently attended a life-giving presentation shouting YES!
Many of you have heard about my involvement with a conflict
transformation process called Circles. I helped facilitate “Circles of
Dialogue” in my church to vent concerns and tensions. My co-facilitator,
Sara, is the director of a alternative justice organization, CONAMAJ,
within the Ministry of Justice of the Costa Rican government. They
recently joined forces with PANI and family court judges to try a
Circles methodology with troubled families. The presentation summarized a
book detailing their experiences.
One of the most passionate presenters was a
judge, Yerma, who just happens to be a graduate of the UBL where I
teach, one of the first Baptist women pastors here, and from my home
church in Desamparados! She described how, when she first became a
judge, they were warned to keep their emotional distance from the
families, to be objective, and to make decisions based on written law.
But with Circles, everyone is invited to be part of the process. The
parents and children, social workers, lawyers and and judge all have
equal voice to discuss the situation, how they feel and what they think
needs to be done. They try to come to a consensus about what is best for
everyone in the
family. Yerma felt that the Circles process was so much more respectful
and productive. The director of PANI echoed her words: the pain of being
required to wrench children from their families, with no way to
negotiate, replaced by a method that often permits families to stay
together and at the very least, restores their dignity.
One of my goals for this year is to
become increasingly involved in the Circles process, as a part of my
ministry of proclaiming reconciliation and new life. Thank you for your
support and your prayers.
Together in ministry,
Ruth Mooney